A thought struck me with all this pandemic crisis going on. Let me re-frame what’s happening at this angle. What if, right now, as we are staying home we are being resuscitated and we’re experiencing a very gentle near-death experience. Where us being resuscitated means choosing between living a new and better life after the crisis or just go back to the same old uneventful life we’ve had before. It’s like a reboot for a 2nd chance in life!
I’ve been battling with my own thoughts these past few days and been attempting to clean the clutter inside my mental space. It’s hard work because you have to submit yourself to the process of taking things out of the closets and cupboards of your mind and see if what you have pulled out still serves you well and contribute to you being a better version of yourself.
It’s like spring cleaning but instead of taking things out, you take out memories, habits, weaknesses, flaws, joys, triumphs and etc. and see if they are still helping you grow. Otherwise, you have to decide whether to throw them away or not. It’s not an easy process. Because like spring cleaning you will encounter stuff that is unmistakable “clutter” that has served you well in the past but it’s of no use to you now, something hard to let go, but you must. Throw the garbage out.
Restlessness and discontent about where I am right now have been one of my driving forces to move forward. There is a lot of resistance that needs to be slain so I can keep on moving. Resistance is a b**ch (saying it as it is!). It tells you to go back down in comfort and not do anything to take a step towards your fullest potential. I don’t want to just survive, I want to fully live! I want to make my dreams reality, I want to make better choices for myself, and I want to spend more time with people I love. The one thing I fear most after the lockdown here gets lifted is that I will stay the same, that nothing has changed within me even just a little.
When discontent makes you restless – move. When you are not satisfied with where you are – move. When you’re not happy – move. When you’re stuck – move. Even if it looks like nothing is happening you still did something – you moved.
You know, I consider this restlessness, discontent, and fear a blessing because it tells me where I want to go and who I want to become. I now know who I want myself to be. And I’m going to spend my 2nd life moving towards it. I want to make a little ripple that can change the world and make the most of what life has in store for me, not only surviving but fully living. For when we fully live our lives the breaths we take for granted gain more meaning because in fully living, we give more of ourselves to the world that is striving to survive.
How is your mental space? Does it need a spring cleaning? Are you just surviving or are you fully living?